The Latest from the ABM Experts
June 1, 2018
If Silicon Valley Characters Had Email Signatures
Written by Brad Beutler
Category: Email Signatures
We have mad respect for you, Silicon Valley fans. And we want you to know there are some spoilers ahead – so proceed with caution if you aren’t through season five yet. For those of you who are 100 percent caught up – please enjoy! We hope we made you proud (and lol) with this blog post.
From TechCrunch Disrupt to the official launch of a decentralized internet, the Pied Piper boys have been through a lot in five seasons. They’ve made many friends, a few enemies, and countless mistakes along the way. But that’s what we’ve come to love about this hilarious crew. Even when the odds are against them, they find a way to make it work.
With the conclusion of season five a few weeks back, we wanted to honor our favorite cast members the best way we know how. These guys are in tech, so we know they send their fair share of emails. Yet the show has never revealed an email signature for any of these characters. So we thought we’d take matters into our own hands…
Much like his character in the show, Richard’s email signature is sort of awkward yet comical. He asked Erlich back in season one to design his signature based on what a CEO’s email signature should look like. As you might expect, it’s a little much. At least his campaign has been updated since then as he’s using it to promote the PiperNet announcement. Within the banner you’ll find a hilariously weird mashup between new tech and the “folktale” theme of Pied Piper. Richard insisted on using this font for the headline because “everyone loves it” – along with the old Pied Piper logo.
Gavin Belson represents many traits of a stereotypical Silicon Valley titan. He wants to make the world a better place (better than anyone else) and is always seeking spiritual council while trying to demolish the competition. The top half of his email signature aggressively promotes his personal brand (because that’s what benevolent leaders do). Gavin also uses the real estate below that to showcase the Box III Gavin Belson Signature Edition. He personally stands behind the SAS/SSD/NVMe drive bays, 24-core processor, ECC DDR4 SD-RAM LR-DIMMs…and email signature marketing.
Laurie’s email signature describes her personality perfectly. All business, not much flash, and professionally stiff. Although we don’t see much emotion from Laurie (like ever), she surprises us at times with admiration towards her colleagues – like calling Monica her best friend. She’s using email signature marketing to teach others her ways in what we can only assume to be a very exciting and uplifting workshop.
Not bad, Monica! Pied Piper’s newest CFO put together this email signature template for the entire company to adopt as they continue to add more and more employees. It’s clean, sharp, and up-to-date with Pied Piper’s current brand. However, there is some backlash from the guys (mostly Gilfoyle and Dinesh). Mainly due to the politically correct yet aesthetically unpleasant disclaimer at the bottom.
Season four and five are the main sources of inspiration for Dinesh’s email signature. It pays homage to PiperChat and his days as CEO of Pied Piper. At the same time, it also represents a few of his new obsessions. He insisted that his name be in the Tesla font and colors (even though it clashes with the green). And he’s still out to prove that he’s a better coder than Gilfoyle.
As you can imagine, Gilfoyle likes to keep things simple and isn’t keen on being too flashy with email signature marketing. He did however use a gothic style font for his name to represent his dark side. And although he isn’t big on titles or providing contact information within the signature area, he’s excited to promote the PiedPiperCoin announcement with a campaign banner that shows the trend line and current value.
Jared always means well and did put together a relatively professional (and somewhat normal) email signature template up top. But the campaign is where things go severely wrong. Remember that awful-looking jacket he debuted in season three? It lives on in his email signature! Buy yours today!
RIP, Erlich. Although he is “technically” dead on the show, you can’t write a post about Silicon Valley email signatures and NOT include him. As you can see below, the theme of Erlich’s signature area still revolves around Bachmanity Insanity (and yes that is a palapa in his name). The campaign banner resembles his Aviato car and is a call-to-action to watch the new “success story” documentary. Hopefully the “Phoenix that shall be known as Bachmanity” will rise again.
Let’s keep this party going! Check out Sigstr’s best email signatures from the “If [Blank] Had Email Signatures” blog series: