Today is another installment of Takeover Tuesday, and this week we’re featuring Rob Roseman’s podcast The Dad the Best I Can Show. Rob sat down with Devon Bandison for a fascinating conversation about fatherhood in our modern, hectic world.
Devon is a father of three, business coach, TEDx speaker, and he is the author of a book called Fatherhood is Leadership. Rob’s conversation with Devon was so insightful for me and I know it will benefit you, too!
Here’s what we’re unpacking today:
- How self-care isn’t selfish
- Why fatherhood should be viewed as a leadership role
- How to start a morning routine
- Why you should say “No” more often.
This post is based on a podcast with Rob Roseman. If you’d like to listen to the full episode, you can check it out here and below.
Are our expectations of parenting too high today?
Devon: I don’t think it’s gone too far. I think it’s moving in the direction where you have active, present fathers, which benefits not only the children, but benefits families and society. I think it’s actually a good thing that’s going on.
What are some practical tips you give to dads who want to be better fathers?
Devon: The biggest tip I think is to really take time and put time and attention into your own self-care. It may feel selfish that you put yourself first, but it’s actually the most selfless you could do, is to put yourself first and take care of you first, because it’ll allow you to take care of your children, your colleagues, and the people who work for you.
Secondly, I created a “To-Don’t” list. What am I not going to do? In the beginning of the day, I have a thing called MITs, Most Important Things. I only list three to five things. What are three things that are most important today? For me, that keeps it really simple, and it keeps the momentum going.
What’s an example of something that you or your clients were saying yes to that you had to put on your “To-Don’t” list?
Devon: Sometimes we get in a place where everything seems like an emergency. We’re constantly checking our email and we end up disconnected from the relationships around us. We’re sitting at the park with our kids, but we’re on our phone answering emails from work.
What we started doing is creating space in his day where he had time for some deep work. We created these 60 minute time blocks of, “This is where I’m going to do work.” That way when its not those times I can be all-in with whatever other responsibilities I have outside of work with my family.
What does fatherhood is leadership mean to you and how can we apply that in our day to day lives as dads?
Devon: I saw this mirror that leadership isn’t about your title. I’ve worked with CEOs and have the title of leaders, and they’re not leaders. To me, fatherhood is also not about your title. It’s about influence. It’s how your words and your way influence your children and those around you.
I started out with an early thing called the Power Hour. What happened was, I just woke up earlier. I got to bed a little earlier. For me, taking ownership of my morning actually created my day in an intentional way, that I’ve found myself being more productive. The Power Hour doesn’t even have to take an hour, it just needs to be a chunk of time that is intentional and focused on you at the beginning of the day so that you can be an effective leader and father throughout the rest of the day.
Some of us are perfectionists and feel like if we can’t do this 100% then we give up and don’t try it at all, how do you encourage people to start taking the next step?
Devon: I say that to my clients. What would one percent be? If you move this thing forward, if you had a one percent better morning routine and you take care of yourself, in about three and a half months, 100 days, you’d be 100% further than you are today.